I like lists. Let’s make a list. Here are a few of the many reasons I am not dating anyone right now, casually or otherwise.
- I don’t have the time or patience for anyone else’s bullshit right now. Harsh but true.
- I don’t particularly savor the idea of dating. In fact, I hate dating. The games, the politics, the “should I wait three days or four or a week to call” crap. Frankly I don’t care enough to invest the energy into a dating relationship that will most likely end in disaster and waste my time anyway. I forget to call people. I honestly forget. Not playing games, not trying to seem busier than I am. I just forget. Probably because I didn’t like you that much in the first place. Again, harsh but true.
- It’s bad enough going out with a platonic friend of the opposite sex on a weekend night and having everyone who sees you just assume you’re dating, up to and including your supposedly platonic just-friend at some point later that night despite explicitly explaining to the just-friend before the not-date that is not the case. That’s when awkward conversations have to happen and people get all pissy and weird. Even though the game rules have been read, understood and signed in triplicate. Here’s a crazy idea! I actually meant what I said! I don’t want to date you! And I am not going to change my mind! And the more you annoy me about it the less I like you as a person! Is it really impossible for two single hetero people of the opposite sex to go out just as friends? I’m starting to think it is.
- People tend to suck. Please see #1, 2 and 4.
- As is by now obvious from the tone of this post, I’m not open to the idea of involvement on any level. So in a way I am doing the world a favor by not dating. A public service, in a sense: not inflicting my damaged, angry self on unsuspecting men who just want to go out for drinks. I should probably walk around with a big OUT OF ORDER/CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE sign around my neck.
- Dating is hard. It’s expensive. It’s stressful. At best I get good stories/posts out of horrible dates with which to entertain my friends and readers of this site. At worst, it’s so beyond depressing I would much rather just stay home. I really don’t want to sit through another “Look at my awesome Taurus outside and did I mention I made 30 grand a year?” situation. I will not be held responsible for my actions. Instead, I will just make stuff up while at home alone and save everyone the heartache and bail money.
- I am picky by nature. I might meet one guy every three months who interests me. That’s four a year. And usually three out of the four are married/attached/gay. So that leaves one a year. And that’s when I am looking, and I’m not even looking. It’s not even so much that I’m just not looking, it’s that the part of me that would normally be open to meeting people is soooo shut down. And that is perfectly fine. For now.

