shoes in hand, stain on the dress

Nothing quite like walking barefoot to my front door at 8AM on a weekday morning in a stained cocktail dress from the night before, heels in one hand, sunglasses on, walking inside to wash off the sin and debauchery, feed the cats, try to get it together enough to go to work in an hour…

I think the stain is caviar.  Whose life is this?