a note on forms of communication

I am thinking of four, other than speaking in person:

1. Phone calls
2. Texts
3. Instant Messaging
4. Email

This doesn’t include the communication that happens on social networking sites like Facebook, though Facebook email is just that, and comments/likes/etc. on Fb posts are sort of like delayed IMs. And there’s the IM app in Facebook, too. Facebook is just a wonderland of talkiness, isn’t it.

So anyway here are these four methods by which many of us communicate. The most obvious, immediate means is a phone call. (This, again, does not include yelling or speaking in person.) Like, if your house is on fire, you wouldn’t send an email to the fire department. If you’re at the grocery store and you can’t remember what vegetable your boyfriend said he wanted to cook you for dinner, you call. You don’t launch your AIM app (usually) and try to get him that way, unless you know for sure he’s online. But still a phone call seems more efficient and wise. Sometimes people have to go to the bathroom.

Then – I’m  going to call this Level Two Communication, where phone calls are Level One – there’s a text. Text messages are like brief, slightly more urgent emails. They are not as urgent as a phone call, and are much less intrusive. Also, if you’ve been drinking and you have autocomplete, this sometimes – and I stress sometimes - can help you disguise the fact that you’re loaded and incoherent, at least for a little while. Or, it can be effective when in a noisy situation, like a show, and talking on the phone would be difficult. Or if you are with someone and you don’t want that person to know who you are talking to. It’s more private/sneaky and less direct. However, being a decent speller is somewhat required and you may have to deal with shit like “hey r u comin 2 d show 2nite” or some other such massacre of the English language.

Level Three: Instant Messaging. Depending on how much time  you spend online, this may or may not be more effective than texts. I personally am near my phone a lot more often than I’m on the Internet, so texting is a better way to reach me. I guess in this case you have to know your audience. My point is, IMs are still not as urgent/immediate as phone calls. When someone sends me an IM, I think, hey look there’s so-and-so online, I’ll get them back after I run outside and get this thing out of my car. And then half the time I run into my neighbor and we talk for a bit and then I forget to ever write the person back. And no one takes it personally, usually. Because, and this is my point, of the nature of the method. IM != phone call.

Lastly there is email. Emails can wait, most of the time, for at least a day. Otherwise you’d call. At least that is  how most people I know tend to use email. It is the 2009 version of snail mail compared to the other three.

Texting is not phone calls. Phone calls are not emails. Emails are not instant messaging. Instant messaging is not a phone call. There are DELAYS, people. Not everyone stays glued to their phone/laptop.

If something is on fire, call. If you are thinking of setting something on fire, text a friend to talk you out of it. If you want to make jokes about pyros, get online.  I’m sure there’s a chat room for that. If you want to talk to your friend about the literary symbolism of fire in Post Modern poetry, write an email.